I'm sitting here with my laptop looking at the familiar Blogger interface which I've been using for over a decade to write on this blog. According to the site, I've posted over 8000 posts and have had over a million visitors, most of whom are spammers and search engine spiders.
And each time I struggle with "what's the point?" to even post anything. Its not that I'm depressed about the number of hits, I am not even sure how many people come to the site daily any longer since I shut off the counter a couple years ago.
It comes down to impact. I started this blog with the concept of sharing great comments people made on other sites around the internet, hunting down insights and funny lines and great posts made in the comment sections, since they're so often amazing yet overlooked. That was a passion and interest which I was pretty much the only person interested in. When I dumped that format, my hits went up steadily until I was averaging around 200 a day.
Even at that height, though, I wasn't having any real impact. Its not like I was changing minds or informing or bringing people information that helped them. I didn't enlighten anyone or cause positive impact in any way. And if I'm not doing anything good, all this ends up being is a sort of mental masturbation, an ego stroking exercise where I post things because darn I'm so smart and people who already agree with me say "attaboy" and pat my back.
I have plenty of stuff to write about. In my drafts I have pieces like these:
Insanity of Progressivism, which abandons reality for what they prefer to see, but even more significantly, attack the symptoms and problems we face but not the causes. They reject the very possibility of the causes, instead coming up with endless solutions to make each problem go away one by one, no matter how contradictory they may beThe Difference We Love, about men and women and a basic approach to life, inspired by comedian Owen Benjamin who came up with a bit showing the music playing in a woman's head constantly (warning sounds, danger, that bit in soap operas when something isn't quite right) and mens (circus music whee!!) and what its like for women to live in a world filled with brutes a foot taller and 50 pounds more muscled at all timesThe way the Collective sacrifices the individual, and the utter meaningless of each person in the collective toward the goal which serves no one, and hence cannot serve everyone.A series of posts on vices, to follow up on my years-ago post on virtuesA disgruntled Gognard's complaint that geek culture is being normalized and hence removing its special nature and abusing its charm -- while missing the point of it all along the wayThe religious nature of science today, with its overwhelming impact on everyone's worldview the way the Roman Catholic Church did in the medieval periodThe death of vows, showing how all oaths and vows are utterly meaningless, how they are betrayed constantly without fear or concern and have no purpose whatsoeverThe unwritten rules, how in society and all gatherings there are certain assumed, shared rules we used to follow, and how the power hungry, cruel, and abusive break those rules forcing them to be written down -- inspired by Acosta's tantrum and ridiculous antics in the White House Press Room
Lots of ideas. But honestly, why? Some of it might be amusing, some of it might be comforting -- you're not alone out there. But in the end, its a lot of work and energy which I have less and less to spare of each year, and what's the point?
That's where I am now. Sorry to be depressing. Its just hard to find a reason to keep posting.