Friday, October 28, 2011


"OK, so, she's a dog."

Movie Theater
Next year's movies look to be the usual mix of remakes, sequels, and Hollywood trash with a scant few gems. Its odd that most of the original content coming out in American cinema is comic book content. Like many people I wondered for years why Hollywood didn't tap into comic books more, given their vast content and storyboarded, cinematic excitement. Well, they've really begun to.

Here are some of the upcoming movies for 2012 and later this year.
  • A Very Harold And Kumar Christmas. Really? I guess they make money.
  • The Muppets. I've heard nothing good about this from the original muppets people.
  • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. LaCarre's book, a remake. I've never been a big fan of his stuff.
  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. The last one was fun, but not Sherlock Holmes. Raping the source material.
  • The Adventures of Tintin. I really want to see this because I love Tintin.
  • Ghostbusters III. No Bill Murray? Yeah, pass on this one, especially after II.
  • Godzilla (again). I have never liked any of these movies.
  • Riddick. Didn't care for the other two in this series, supposedly this finishes the trilogy.
  • Piranha 3D. What can you say? It will probably make money, for some reason.
  • Underworld: Awakening. This series just never did anything for me.
  • Beauty and the Beast 3D. Hey Lion King re-release made them a mint. It wasn't the 3D that did it but that's what they'll think.
  • Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Supposed to be darker and less goofy.
  • John Carter. I really hope they get this right, what a great franchise possibility.
  • Dr. Seuss' The Lorax. Not interested.
  • Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Part of the "remake fairy tales all gritty and adult" that the Alice in Wonderland remake started.
  • Snow White and the Huntsman. See above.
  • Jack the Giant Killer. See above.
  • Dorothy of Oz. Well, why not. Great stories if they could only follow the book closer. She'll probably know martial arts and battle zombies.
  • 21 Jump Street. This launched Johnny Depp's career on the fledgling Fox network. Maybe it won't suck... yeah sure.
  • Snow White 3D. See Beauty and the Beast above, but this one is hard to watch, very dated.
  • Clash of the Titans 2. The first really didn't justify a sequel.
  • Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: cute concept for a single image, but a film? Maybe.
  • The Amazing Spider-man. Pass. Rebooting already? Without the brilliant direction of Sam Raimi? No.
  • The Dark Knight Rises. I sure hope this one is as good as the first two. Nolan has yet to disappoint me.
  • The Avengers. Lots of build up but it looks cheesy in the pictures I've seen. Lets hope not, Marvel has a lot riding on it.
  • Battleship. Uh, sure. How about "Chutes and Ladders" next!
  • Men In Black III. Well I liked the two previous ones and this has the whole cast.
  • G.I. Joe: Retaliation. How did this get greenlighted after the bomb the previous movie was?
  • The Bourne Legacy. I'm not sure I really care, given how this franchise has raped spy action thrillers. They all think they have to be Bourne now.
  • Total Recall. If they do this right, it could be brilliant science fiction. I don't trust them to do it right.
  • The Expendables 2. Well it should be plenty entertaining; unfortunately a stunt man died while filming in Bulgaria.
  • Dredd. This time maybe they can get Judge Dredd right, instead of that abomination with Stallone and Assante.
  • Taken 2. Well I guess we should have expected this.
  • James Bond 23, possibly called "Red Sky at Night." Given that Daniel Craig talks about how this is more character and emotive than the previous ones, I'm not encouraged. At least Q is back. Rumor has it Albert Finney will replace Judi Densch as M. That would be great, she never worked in the part for me.
  • The Hobbit, part one (An Unexpected Journey). Pass.
  • Django Unchained. Only if Tarantino has been forced to obey an editor to cut down his painfully long talky scenes. The man needs editing, badly.
  • World War Z. Ooh. Zombies. How original.
  • Atlas Shrugs 2. Didn't see the first, but I hope it does well.
There's also a scattering of horror movie 3D releases and junk like the next Twilight film. Not a lot I'm really looking forward to, but then there's a bunch of titles I didn't recognize so maybe there are some gems I haven't heard of. If I owned a movie company I'd release for Netflix at the same time as theaters, charging them as much as I could.

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