Thursday, September 01, 2011


"Technically, G.I. Joe does not exist, but if it did, it'd be comprised of the top men and women from the top military units in the world, the alpha dogs. When all else fails, we don't."
-General Hawk

Look, I realize you can't use the same bright colors and skin-tight costumes in movies that you use in comic books. What works fine in a comic book looks idiotic in a movie. I get that a costume designer wants to put his own stamp on the costume as well. I also get that the texture of a costume reduces glare and other unfortunate effects on camera, so a pattern is better than just smooth material. But really, this is what Superman's costume looks like in the upcoming Man of Steel?

Superman Capeless
Here's the thing: superhero movies already require you to strongly suspend any sense of disbelief. Men cannot fly and pick up ocean liners. Men are not bulletproof. Superman is not just impossible, but ludicrously so. At some point you have to just shrug at the concept and go with it, which is why the 1970s Superman movie worked so well. They didn't feel any need to make it more realistic or gritty, they just faithfully translated the comic book into film. According to rumors, this version of Superman will "demolish previous conceptions of Superman." Yeah, great direction to go guys.

In other movie news Johnny Depp is at work at the Thin Man remake. I was nervous about this effort, but no longer. I'm confident its going to be awful, now. Sean O'Niell writes at AV Club:
Koepp is now reportedly starting fresh by drawing elements from the original Dashiell Hammett novel as well as the William Powell and Myrna Loy films, then loudly drowning those out with all the things required by the recently outlined rules for tentpole moviemaking, such as Johnny Depp, “a Sherlock Holmes-like stylized treatment,” and maybe even working in “a musical number or two.”
Supposely they're having problems trying to mimick the dialog and writing by Hammett. Next, a jazzed up, modernized version of A Tale of Two Cities with Lindsey Lohan, followed by The Sun Also Rises, starring the cast of Glee.

At first, there were rumors that Fox Movies was remaking Romancing the Stone with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. Butler was magnificent in 300 but seems to be stumbling from one lame project to another hapless romantic comedy. The pair were in Ugly Truth together, and apparently someone thought they had great chemistry. Now the plan is to instead turn it into a television series on NBC.

The movie was just made watchable by Douglas' performance and quirky tough guy character, but it veered uncomfortably close to chick flick territory far too often, and I can only see a TV series spending most of its energy on a successful but unfulfilled woman's trials as a single professional chick in a big city with a rugged, clueless but sensitive boyfriend ala Sex and the City.

Dan Ackroyd wants to make Ghostbusters 3, since 2 was such a fine specimen of filmmaking. Ensuring the quality of this third movie starring aging has-beens is the intent to make the movie whether Bill Murray will be part of it or not - at present he's said to be disinterested. Since Murray was the primary draw for the first movie and the only watchable part of the second, I don't see anything good coming from this.

1990 had two chilling, interesting movies that came out; one was Jacob's Ladder, which was just creepy as all get out and fascinating to watch, and the other was Flatliners which was continually filled with a sense of mysterious dread. Now for no apparent reason, Sony wants to remake Flatliners.

Following an all-too-common pattern in movie making, several studios are all working on a Frankenstein project at once. Like the "lets make a bloody grown-up update of fairy tales" trend, there's a growing remake monster movie trend as well. Honestly the A&E Frankenstein movie was probably the best that's been made and I doubt any of these will be as good.

Probably part of the "fairy tales" trend is a retelling of the David & Goliath story, which is pretty grim and grown up to begin with. The rumor is that The Rock will play goliath, although he's not big enough (CGI and camera angles will fix that). What's interesting is that the ancient philistines are essentially the palestinians today.

And, yeah, they're working on GI Joe 2. the first was an abysmal bomb, but apparently the guys at Paramount think its worth another try.

1 comment:

Philip said...

"the plan is to instead turn [Romancing the Stone] into a television series on NBC"

Considering that 90% of current network television (outside of non-Olympic sports] is oriented toward women, it's not surprising if it ends up in chick-flick territory.