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CHRISTOPHER TAYLOR'S BOOKS

Thursday, August 25, 2011

DATING SITE UPDATE

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes, lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
-Johnny Lee, "Lookin' for Love"

About 11 years ago I joined a dating site called Match.com, one of the biggest in the world. It was free to sign up and I stayed as long as it was free, then left. I never got a single email, response, or notice from any women there. It may have been my profile which noted I had basically no money and troubled health, or it may have been what I've heard is usually the case on these sites. The general rule is that men never get noticed by women. Ever. Women put their profile up and wait for the responses which usually pile in by the handful.

Like dating in the rest of the world, women are passive and wait like a flower for a few bees to come along. And that's so far what I'm seeing with 2Date4Love. I signed up as an experiment to see how the site developed and who was on there last week, and there's nothing but silence out there.

What's odd about this site is how incredibly scant the information they have on anyone. You only give about 10 pieces of generalized information My profile looks like this:
Birthday - 12/9/65
Gender - Male
Location - Oregon
Occupation - Author
Education - Some College
Ethnicity - Caucasian
Political Leaning - Conservative
Religion - Presbyterian (was as close as I could get from their list)
Country of Origin - USA
Outdoors Interests - gardening, hiking, camping, fishing
Heath & Fitness - don't exercise
Religion - I would not date someone outside my religious beliefs
Family - I do not have children but like them
then they have a box with 12 different "likes" you use to search with
That's it. I didn't fill out the little text box, because that's not why I'm there, but this is pretty minimal, particularly compared to sites like Match.com which have dozens of different questions with detailed answers.

Now I'm not all that attractive to a woman in this profile (he never exercises and is a conservative christian?? Run away!!!!) but that's not the point - there's just not enough information there to really learn anything about someone, particularly sight unseen living hundreds or even thousands of miles away.

When I did a search initially, it only gave me 2 women, even though I set the range incredibly broad (18-58, all categories of interests) which made me suspect that the site was just not very busy. Then on Tuesday, the search gave me over 400 hits, so I think their search software was not working quite right.

In addition, the search engine consists of gender, age range, and the 12 "likes." There's no way to narrow down distance, and you have basically no control over what sort of person you look for, you just hope their engine works. I get hits as far away as London and Bangkok, which is not very helpful for most people. Its interesting for me in the experiment, but not particularly beneficial to someone looking for love. Sure that girl from Israel has a nice picture but she's in Israel.

Also, the site is unbelievably slow. It takes a minute or more to load a profile or do a search and sometimes it just times out. I don't know why on earth it should run so slowly, but its infuriating for websites to move like that. I do however appreciate how honest a lot of the women are: a lot of the photos are not model-quality; some of them are downright unattractive looking in their picture, and I really like that. Better to be up front about who you are, because often people are more attractive in person and animated by their personality than in pictures anyway.

And finally, what's particularly missing in this one is why they are there. This dating site is specifically designed for people who cannot engage in regular sexual activity but want love. Yet there's almost nothing about the health of people involved or what brought them to this place. Is it a vow of celibacy? Is it life in a wheelchair? Is it, like the founder, a tragic result of a battle with cancer? There's no indication, which seems like a pretty major lack for this particular business.

I have a full month of free service - apparently I missed the "lifetime account" window, but why would you want a lifetime of dating service anyway? If you're signed on to one of these seeking love, ideally it will take the least amount of time possible. I just don't see this as being likely to be very helpful for people looking for love.

3 Comments:

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4:10 AM, October 08, 2011  
Anonymous Alissa said...

Match.com and 2Date4Love aren't the only dating sites around. Have you tried others like plentyoffish.com? It may be true that women are generally more passive in making matches, but you'll never know until you take a chance.

2:43 AM, December 06, 2011  
Anonymous GroovyOne said...

Bravo to Christopher Taylor! You hit the nail right on the head! After being on 2date4love for several months, the only sound I hear when I go up there is CRICKETS! Money not well spent! And as for Alissa's comment...I think you missed the point deary, 2date4love is a site for people who cannot have sexual intercourse, not just another dating site like POF, ergo, IT NEEDS TO BE FUNCTIONAL, especially if they are taking people's money!! It's just not right to offer someone hope, and then leave them hopeless.

12:49 PM, September 04, 2014  

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