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CHRISTOPHER TAYLOR'S BOOKS

Thursday, December 02, 2010

TEN THINGS THAT MUST DIE IN THE NEW DECADE

"Give it a rest!!!"

The night that disco died
I remember vaguely the day that Disco died. It was during a baseball game between the Detroit Tigers and the Chicago White Sox, and local album-oriented rock DJ Steve Dahl set up Disco Demolition as a promotion to get people to come to the game. During the 7th inning stretch, people brought their disco records and they were piled onto the field and rigged with explosives.

Unfortunately the explosives started small fires, blew a hole in the turf, and thousands of fans flooded the field in hatred of disco music. That was the point at which disco in popular culture went from trendy to hated.

I remember the death of Def as well, when Def Jams records decided the term was overused (mostly because white people were starting to use it comfortably) and they held a special ceremony where the word was stripped from their business title and buried symbolically. "Def" stopped being used by rappers and was considered uncool at that point.

Well there's a lot of other stuff that should be done away with in the same way. We're at the end of the first decade of the new millennium, which is a good time to officially let some things die, or kill them off. Here's my list of stuff that needs to die as we start the teens:
  1. Sensitive, sexy vampires. They're horrible blood sucking monsters.
  2. Scary clowns. Its not even ironic any longer, hipsters. Let it go.
  3. Fail. Talk about overused, this one has to die the death of a thousand screams.
  4. Green. Yeah, we get it, you care, we're just sick of hearing about it. Care in silence.
  5. Racist. Does this word even have any meaning after its been thrown about for every single criticism a leftist doesn't care for?
  6. Reality Television, particularly the "lets follow a vapid obnoxious celebrity around" and "lets put people who hate each other somewhere stressful and film it" types.
  7. Zombie Apocalypse. Give it a rest, people. Enough with the zombies.
  8. Text message spelling anywhere but in text messages.
  9. Tattoos. Hasn't this trend lingered on long enough?
  10. Cougars. Women who prey on young men, especially teenagers. Grow up and act your age, its slutty at any age.
I don't have much hope any of it will happen, but it all should.

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