Friday, October 01, 2010


"Correct El Jefe. But then again you did make up the rules."

One of the more enjoyable shows on television is the CBS series NCIS. It and CSI New York are the only network shows I really like to watch, and although it is a bit unrealistic in terms of office interaction (what happens between these characters would result in lawsuits, civil rights citations, and sexual harassment suits) it is consistently fun to watch.

One of the running themes on the show is a series of rules which the commanding agent Gibbs (played by Mark Harmon) were taught by his former superior Mike Franks. He passes these rules on to agents, and they are revealed a little bit at a time on the shows. For example, rule 13: Never, ever involve lawyers. This is something NCIS does more than any other crime show, lawyers are almost never involved.

For the record, here's a list of every rule that's been mentioned on the show; there are 51 to date, but only 23 have been revealed. You'll note that there are two rule number 1's. Whether that was a continuity error or they just are trying to get across the point that these aren't as hard and fast as a book of laws is not clear.
  1. Never let suspects stay together/Never screw (over) your partner.
  2. Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
  3. Don't believe what you're told. Double check.
  4. Never be unreachable.
  5. If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third best.
  6. Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness.
  7. Always be specific when you lie.
  8. Never take anything for granted.
  9. Never go anywhere without a knife.
  10. Never get personally involved in a case.
  11. When the job is done, walk away.
  12. Never date a coworker
  13. Never, ever involve lawyers.
  14. unknown
  15. Always work as a team.
  16. unknown
  17. unknown
  18. It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission.
  19. unknown
  20. unknown
  21. unknown
  22. Never, ever interrupt Gibbs in interrogation.
  23. Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.
  24. unknown
  25. unknown
  26. unknown
  27. There are two ways to follow.
    1. 1st way - they never notice you;
    2. 2nd way - they only notice you.
  28. unknown
  29. unknown
  30. unknown
  31. unknown
  32. unknown
  33. unknown
  34. unknown
  35. unknown
  36. unknown
  37. unknown
  38. Your case, your lead.
  39. There is no such thing as coincidence.
  40. unknown
  41. unknown
  42. unknown
  43. If it seems like someone's out to get you, they are.
  44. First things first, hide the women and children.
  45. Clean up your messes.
  46. unknown
  47. unknown
  48. unknown
  49. unknown
  50. unknown
  51. Sometimes - you're wrong.
As you can see there are a lot of gaps in there which the writers have not filled in yet, and may never fill. The only character other than Franks and Gibbs who seems to know all the rules is the goth chick forensic genius Abby Sciuto.

1 comment:

Philip said...

"It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

Standard rule among Navy shipdrivers (or at least it used to be).