Tuesday, October 19, 2010


"Cats generally choose the suitable time period, and will pretty much take it from there."

Is your cat showing signs of magnetic distress? Does it continually lie in the same orientation to north? Is its fur excessively staticky? G. Curtis Hoskins at Air&Space has the answer: degauss your cat.
The cat is caused to lie on its side, or better, is found lying on its side of its own accord. An eyedropper is used to place two or three drops of three-percent hydrogen peroxide into whichever ear is facing the dropper. At this step, it is important not to try to restrain the cat, lest one become subject to the various contaminants the cat sheds as it leaves magnetic fields behind and joins the squirrels in the trees. Here one may notice how gracefully the cat leaps from tree to tree, once freed from the bonds of polarization, magnetic fields, and other inconveniences.

After trying this method, note how the cat no longer appears entrapped by magnetic fields, as evidenced by the cat changing direction whenever you enter the room, and going elsewhere at a high rate of speed.
The preferred method is indoors involving wire wrapped around a paw in four total steps but neither one is likely to make the cat very happy.

Its all in fun, a sort of inside aerospace joke but I figured the blog could use some lightening up.

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