Tuesday, June 20, 2006

THE JOOOOOOS!!!!

"Plagues in Egypt? They celebrate it openly to THIS DAY."

Although a hideous specter of our sad past, antisemitism is on the rise again in Europe, and in the US. Typically disguised as being opposed to "zionism," this term ultimately comes to mean "any Jew who defends or supports Jewish or Israeli interests" and is no disguise. When studies come out of Harvard (PDF file), so anti semetic that David Duke responded:
''Now it is finally revealed by some of the top academic sources in the country. 'It is not just David Duke anymore. None other than researchers at Harvard and the University of Chicago have said that the Israel lobby controls US foreign policy and is responsible for this war in Iraq. What a fantastic step forward this is."
Or, if you're sane, backward. Recently Ace of Spades noted how a Kos Diarist named Grand Moff Texan suggested that Yale University's decision to not hire Juan Cole is because of the Jooooos:
Juan Cole is, apparently, not too bothered by the fact that he's not going to Yale and who could blame him? Presented with the choice of living and working in Ann Arbor or Hartford New Haven, I'd rather be a Wolverine too. But that's not what this is about. I have a problem with the fact that Yale decided not to hire someone because a bunch of Israel-first, rightwing flacks went and scared Yale's Jewish donors, and they in turn scared administrators at Yale.

That's three groups of people right there who need to reconsider what country they live in.
As ace noted:

Jews

They're gonna getcha.

Commenters at the Ace of Spades Headquarters found more conspiracies by the invidious Jews who control the world, but somehow always end up on the wrong end of the sword:
You know when you get a bag of pistachios and there are some that aren't partially cracked open already. They break your eating rythm and you have to decide whether it's worth it to crack them open with your teeth or whether you should just them away.

That's the Jew's handiwork.

You when you take a crap in a public bathroom and then realize that there isn't any toilet paper - that's because a Jew took it.
-by steve_in_hb


You know when you go to the zoo to see the monkeys and lions and bears but those cages are all "closed for maintenance" and you waste your fuckin' day in the Turtle House?

That's because Jews can't have a bar mitzvah without monkeys and lions and bears.

404 Error?

No such thing exists.. It's a Kabbala code for "We whacked Christ."
-by ace


You know how when you go through Burger King and order a Whopper and clearly enunciate that you DO.NOT.WANT.MAYO and then you get it and it's slathered with extra mayo?

Jews.

If you get Diet Coke instead of regular, though, that's the f*cking Freemasons.
-The Warden


You know when you come up with a kick-ass blog comment, hit send, and realize there's a typo and immediately hit "cancel"? When your comment shows up anyway making you look like a fool, you know it was the Jews.

F*ckin'. JOOOOS.
-by Feisty


You know that lame ass voice-over and "happy" ending on the theatrical version of Blade Runner?

Jews

Oh, and that video making the internet rounds a while back with the killer whale crushing the "coach"?

Jew... wait, no, on second thought, I think that was orchestrated by the penguins. Jewish penguins though.
-by Krakatoa


You know when "some people" are moving in on you, and using the blacks as muscle?

I think you know where I'm headed with this.
-by an Illinois Nazi


You know that whole "Jewish international bankers" conspiracy? It's a sham. They put an extra "n" in there to throw the goyim off. It's supposed to be the "Jewish international bakers." That's why you see bagel delivery trucks everywhere.

BREAD JEWS.
-by Sue Dohnim


You know who created the whole myth that women can have orgasms - perverted Jews.
-by steve_in_hb


It's POTATO JEWS stealing your hard-earned money.

Little known fact - they also spell "potato" with an "e" on the end to let each other know who to give a big discount to and who to screw.

Quayle's slip-up almost cost him his life. It's like a connected man trying to represent himself as being a made man.
-by The Warden


Designated hitter rule? Astroturf?

Yeah. We all know who drove those two abominations through.

And Sandy Koufax was at best an average pitcher. Yeah: I said it! I said it and I'm glad. Average! He couldn't carry Whitey Ford's jock. Yeah: Whitey Ford. You know what I'm sayin'.

(Oy gevalt, the shame I'm feeling! Such a schmendrick I am. I could plotz!)
-by Monty


Fran Drescher's career?

I guess she was just "lucky."

Brussel sprouts. Gee, a vegetable nobody likes but everyone seems compelled to buy.

"Jew lettuce," that's what I call it.
-by ace


You know when you're on a real short plane flight and the stewardessess start serving anyway, but then stop just before they get to your row, leaving you thirsty and hungry while everyone else is sitting back, all smug and satisfied with their half-cup of Diet Coke and chintzy little bag of stale mixed nuts?

All those people in front of you are Jooooooooos.

Hot dogs - packages of 8
Hot dog buns - packages of 10.

Jewish bakers strike yet again.
-by wiserbud


I'm not saying that the Joos caused Hurricane Katrina, but somebody made a lot of $$ selling boats in New Orleans last September.
-by it's kosher, Amish


Hey Amish? When does hurricane season start?

You got it. Jewne.
-by wiserbud


Banks are closed on Sunday because the jew is gathering in the lobby to dine on noble palestinian children.
-by mike s.


Tickets not selling at our venues? It can't be my big f*ckin' mouth ...

Gotta be the Jewesses.
-by Natalie Maine

More, much more at Ace of Spades Headquarters! In all seriousness, if Jews rule the world secretly and are manipulating the press, the presidency, the UN and everything else except backward uneducated dorks and radical Muslims, why on earth has history been so very awful to the Jews? They must be the world's most incompetent overlords.

[technorati icon]

1 comment:

Muslihoon said...

Thank you for making the point about anti-Semitism being shrouded in "anti-Zionism." There are many people who don't like Zionism as an ideology or who disagree with Israel's policy. That's fine. The same applies to every other state of the world. But when there's opposition simply because it's Israel or the Jews, it becomes anti-Semitism.

I find it a bit sad that rising anti-Semitism proves that the Jews need a land of their own.